How to win a War of Words?

@Office, how to win a war of words? War of words normally involves taking down your opponent psychologically. It involves great deal of word churning and voice modulation. Here goes how.

• I am old, you are new. I am right, you are wrong. Stress every syllable in "Wrong". This principle comes from the notion - it is generally accepted that New is Wrong while Old is right.
• I am experienced, you are fresher. I am right, you are wrong. Stress every syllable in "Wrong". Add a dose of humbleness, if you like, at the end of the sentence by saying something like "I am just trying to make things clear to you that what you are doing might not be right!"
• Dont get excited. As soon as you say this, everybody in and around the cubicle would be looking at your opponent as if he/she is guilty. This is the first step to winning the war of words.
• Tell me (or Correct me) if I am wrong. Say it with an innocent look on the face. This is called acting-smart. Most of the time, people use the phrase on wrong occassions i.e., when you are actually telling the truth or a genuine feeling. But when you use it on these occassions deliberately, they agree with you and they also seem to invent logic to prove that you are right!!
• I did my job, you screwed it up. Whoever says it first would normally have the last laugh!! I happened to read this article on Plus Ultra blog, which tells us about Self-Serving Bias. Explicit use of self-serving bias here would be of great help.
• Your methods dont apply to the process followed here. Use as much authority and propriety as possible when you say this. This would put the idea across that you have a greater, even though it is not true, knowledge of the processes followed in the firm. This would also give you a better control on the argument, especially if your opponent is rather new in the office.
• Why are you shouting at me? Try to have a innocent kid look on your face when you say this. It will drive the point down the throat of your opponent in the best possible way. And by the way, your opponent need not be really shouting at you when you say this. He might well be talking slowly in a disappointed tone. Use of this principle on such occassions might fetch extra brownie points with your colleagues as Gandhiji of the group. Everybody loves a Gandhi, you know.

Note: These are some principles from some daily observations. Discretion in use of these principles must be execrised as need may be. The author is not responsible for any side effects of using these principles. Please relax if you have been on the loser's side previously and have not known of these principles at that time. If you have more observations/ideas, why dont you share them in the comments section? Share and Enjoy, Sirius Cybernetics Style! Apologies for copyright infrigement on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy.